The 10 Things No One Tells You About Planning A Wedding

1. Your Family and Friends May Have Strong Reactions To Your Wedding Weddings tend to bring out weird emotions and reactions in family, friends, internet strangers, and even yourself. Nut up, buttercup, and don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries about why, how, and with whom you get married.

2. Your Budget Is Not A Source Of Shame or Pride. Create a celebration within your financial means, make well-thought-out decisions about your spending, and, for the love of all things holy, don’t get into debt for your wedding. There is no set dollar amount that makes a wedding meaningful, fun, unique, or valid.

3. No One Cares About Your Wedding As Much As You Do. Act Accordingly. It’s ok if some people don’t give a crap about your dress or your napkins or your all organic localvore brunch served by glittered unicorns on plates of rainbows and puppy dog kisses. They still like and love you; weddings just aren’t the end-all-be-all of most people’s lives.

4. You’re Not A Princess. Save The Royalty-For-A-Day Fantasy For The Bedroom ‘Cos No One Is Worshiping Your Ass Out Here. Family, friends, and vendors are not indentured servants. They are not available to cater to your every whim or to be responsible for picking up the slack when things go awry on your end. Bridezilla behavior is the thing of TV shows and wedding culture lore but it not what’s acceptable when you’re dealing with real human beings.

5. Guests Deserve As Much Respect As Your Spouse. The second you send out your first invitation, the big day stops being all about you and becomes a shared event. Many guests will invest a great deal of time and money to attend your wedding; honor their time and commitment to be with you. Make sure they have adequate food and drink, a sheltered place to sit and relax, and a sincere desire for them to be there.

6. Pinterest Is The Devil And It Will Eat Your Soul. Log Out.

7. Wedding Planning Isn’t A Competition. Stop Trying To Top Everyone Else’s Experience. No one gets a medal for “teh most awesomest wedding evahr!” no matter how much DIY you do, which celebrity planner you get, how much you sacrificed to pay for all the things or how even blasé you were about the whole thing. There are no ribbons, no gold stars, no parades in your honor. At the end of the day, you get married. Life goes back to normal for everyone tomorrow.

8. The Wedding Industry Is Based On Bullshit. It’s Your Job To Shovel Through It. For the most part wedding vendors are pretty awesome people BUT they all exist to sell you a dream. It may or may not be your dream but it is guaranteed to be a dream that benefits them financially otherwise why would they be in business? Make sure the dream you’re buying is the one you want. Do the research. Ask questions. Get everything in writing.

9. It’s OK Seek Professional Help When You Want It Or Need It. (And You Will Need It.) Planning an event take a lot of organization, time, research, and effort. Unless you are some sort of alien being (if you are that alien being: welcome, new overlord!), it’s going to be nearly impossible to do everything by yo’self. There are wonderful, competent, and creative professionals in the industry who are willing to help you get the wedding you want at a price you can afford. Take advantage of their expertise. It’ll save your sanity, your budget, and a heap of time.

10. It’s Easy To Forget The Important Stuff. Don’t forget to love and communicate honestly with your partner, appreciate the help you’re given, laugh with your friends, and enjoy the process. You’re about to embark on a kick-ass journey of a lifetime. Enjoy it.

  1. This a a sincere and honest post that i enjoyed reading! Especially when it comes to budgets and family. These are dependent of external factors you cant control and can lead to plenty of frustration. As far as keeping up to real expectations and the reality of the industry this is as honest as it gets!

    1. Thanks, Tracy! I think couples are often blindsided – and disappointed – by the realities of wedding planning. To help them reset expectations and navigate the endless unattainable aspirational BS that is out there is so important.

  2. Great ideas here. There’s a lot of things people don’t know about weddings until they’re finally planning their own. Thanks for sharing these tips!

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