Few things cause as much agony in the bridalsphere, from both couples and vendors, as negotiation. In my behind-the-scenes dealings with my wedding industry colleagues and with my interactions with you I’m privvy to both sides of the negotation table. What I see is a lot of misunderstanding and oftentimes bad advice (on both sides) about how to negotiate.
To start off, let’s look at what the worst missteps I see couples making in the negotiation process are:
- Lack of courtesy and respect for the vendor and the her time, talent, and product/service.
- Unrealistic expectations of the outcome of the negotiation.
- Inflexible about the terms of the negotiation.
These 3 points almost always kill the negotiation process and any chance you may have of getting a better deal for yourself. Why? Simply put: they’re all ego-based actions and offer the vendor no incentive to do you a favor. (And, yes, anytime a vendor alters her standard product, services, or prices to accommodate your needs it is an act of benevolence on their part. You’re not automatically entitled to those things.)
Over the next few days, we’ll take a look at the negotiation killers and ways to have drama-free, positive negotiations with your vendors.
The first one I want to talk about is lack of courtesy and respect for the vendor and the her time, talent, and product/service.
Most vendors work exceedingly hard to create their products or deliver their services. They rightfully expect to be fairly compensated for their time, supplies, expertise, and business expenses. They set their prices to ensure they cover their expenses and make a reasonable profit otherwise their business can’t survive. That’s business 101, right?
When couples approach a vendor with an attitude of entitlement or a mindset that they’re going into battle, it pretty much shuts down the negotiation process before it begins. Many vendors in the industry expect (and even welcome) some negotiation. All of them expect to be treated with respect and dignity during the process as much as you do.
An appreciation and understanding of their work/efforts/talents goes a long way. For example, while a wedding cake may look like just flour, sugar, eggs and frosting why should you pay $5.00 a slice for that? — so much more goes into creating one: like tens of hours of decorating, baking, training, product testing, recipe developing, high priced equipment, and a bunch other stuff just to get a cake to your reception. All of these things cost time and money to produce for you. Looking at it from that standpoint may help you understand why Chrissy Cakebaker can’t offer you an “Ace of Cakes” inspired creation for $1/slice.
It’s important to keep in mind that most small, independent wedding pros aren’t independently wealthy and are likely barely making a living off of their businesses. I mention this because demanding extras or reduced pricing seriously affects every businesses’ bottom line and their ability to sustain themselves. Some businesses by virtue of their business model or the economic conditions in their area cannot afford to negotiate on price at all. While this is ultimately not your problem, your budget restrictions are not their problem either. The whole point of negotiation is to come to an agreement that suits both parties. You know - a win/win situation.
Approach your vendors with an attitude of kindness, understanding, and collaboration. It’s your best bet for a positive outcome.
posted by m.e. for k.c.
